Friday, February 20, 2015

When Cable Channels Go Rogue: TLC

For some reason, most cable channels seem to have a problem living up to their names. Everyone knows that very little “Music” actually plays on “Music TeleVision” these days, but this syndrome appears to be widespread among so many other channels. For example, “TLC’s” full name is “The Learning Channel”, but very little actual “learning” seems to happen on that channel these days, as shown in….

Things We’ve Learned from The “Learning” Channel:

*If the only thing interesting about your life is that you had a ton of kids, you can make money and get companies to give you tons of free stuff!

*There’s a ton of money to be made from “flipping” your house! (Oops, this “lesson” no longer valid.)

*A catty woman and a catty gay man can help you improve your wardrobe by mocking your weight and style tastes.

*Tattoo parlors are no longer full of degenerates and sailors; they’re full of whiny degenerates and trendy hipsters who will probably regret their “tatts” once tattoos are no longer trendy.

And finally,

*Yelling at your employees and making idle threats is the best way to get them motivated!