TV Quote Weekends

“We’re the bears that sing for Duke, Doo-dah, Doo-dah! Drinking moonshine ’till we puke all the Doo-dah day!”

-from "The Critic”

TV Quote Weekends

"Well, if it isn't Chesty LaRue!"

-Jerry Seinfeld

BANNED: Steven Seagal

In our continuing series on actors banned from Saturday Night Live, we come to our next banned actor- Steven Seagal.

How did the beefy action star end up banned? By being extremely difficult to deal with and coming up with sketch ideas that were non-sensical, bizarre, ridiculous and/or borderline offensive. Lorne Michaels still considers Mr. Seagal to be the worst host ever.

Carol Seaver's Growing Pains

It's the Seavers, just as you remember them! Except, who's that girl?

That girl was Elizabeth Ward, the original Carol Seaver. Test audiences didn't like her, so she was replaced by Tracey Gold, who was originally rejected for the role. While Elizabeth's scenes in the pilot were reshot with Tracey, Elizabeth was still visible in the background of one scene.

In the Not Too Distant Future- 25 Years Ago

Twenty five years ago, Mystery Science Theater 3000 premiered on The Comedy Channel. The idea was a novel one- a guy gets stranded in space, forced to watch bad movies with his two robot friends. 

The show would run for ten years and popularize grade Z films like Manos: The Hands of Fate, infamous directors like Ed Wood and bizarre characters like Mr. B Natural.

Benson & Seinfeld

Years before he hit it big with his sitcom Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld was cast as "Frankie" on the 1980's sitcom Benson. The producers of Benson thought Jerry was a lousy actor and a bad fit for the show, so he was unceremoniously fired. In fact, they never bothered to tell him he had been let go; he realized he was fired when he sat down to a table read and saw that his character wasn't in the script. Mr. Seinfeld would eventually get the last laugh. Industry experts estimate that his sitcom has made over three billion dollars in syndication rights alone. That's a lot of something for a show about nothing.

Rest in Peace, Glen A. Larson

Legendary television producer Glen A. Larson has died at age 77.

Mr. Larson began his entertainment career as a singer with the group The Four Preps, whose best known song was 26 Miles (Santa Catalina). After settling down with a wife and kids, Mr. Larson tired of the touring life and left the group, choosing to make a career in television where he produced some of the biggest television series ever. Quincy, ME, Magnum PI, The Fall Guy and Battlestar Galactica were among his most successful shows.

TV Quote Weekends

"Have a seat. let's see. Uh, how could I explain this? Ah! Ok, this is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors. See the big guy in the third row? Don't stick him up in the air at anybody."

-Dan Conner

TV Quote Weekends

"Who's the glad-handing dandy?"

-Agent Dale Cooper

Perry Mason and the Future Police Woman

Long before she was the sexy Police Woman, Angie Dickinson had a run in with legendary lawyer Perry Mason in the 1958 episode The Case of the One-Eyed Witness. The lovely Miss Dickinson played Mr. Mason's client and not the one-eyed witness.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: John Banner and Werner Klemperer

Years before they played the bumbling German overseers of Stalag 13 in Hogan's Heroes, John Banner and Werner Klemperer starred in the first season of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. The episode was called Safe Conduct and featured a naive young American who is asked to help smuggle a watch. John Banner plays a train conductor while Werner Klemperer plays a fellow traveler.

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You Might Remember Him From Such Films As...

The Seven-Year Old Bitch

Sorry, Wrong Closet

Suddenly Last Supper

They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall

Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die

The Verdict Was Mail Fraud

The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West

Jagged Attraction

Look Who's Still Oinking