USA Network in the 1980's

The USA Network looked much different in the 1980's than it does today. Now known as a home of NCIS and Law & Order: SVU reruns plus some stellar original programming, the network originally ran just about anything it could get its hands on in the 80's. Lower tier syndicated sitcoms, 1970's game show reruns and rock bottom programming like Dance Party USA, an American Bandstand clone filmed in Philadelphia and sponsored by Esleep.

The overnight television programming Night Flight presented a cavalcade of B-Movies and MTV rejected music videos. Pretty much anything cheap that could conceivably be considered programming.

Despite being called "USA Network", the cable channel also found time on the schedule for various Canadian game shows. 

American audiences were none the wiser that these productions originated from Canada up until the contestants spoke about "going oot" and telling their fellow contestants how "sore-y" they were. (The consolation prizes of Kraft Dinner and poutine mix were dead giveaways as well.)

The dawn of the 1990's meant greener pastures for USA, though the network's current streak of original programming wouldn't take flight until 2000.

A Creepy Discovery

It seemed like a normal location shoot at Long Beach's famed Pike Amusement Center. The crew of The Six Million Dollar Man readied the center's haunted house attraction for the upcoming shoot when they happened upon a too realistic ghostly mannequin. Certain that they had stumbled upon a dead body inside the attraction, the crew summoned the police.

Though initially skeptical, the coroner quickly verified the crew's suspicions. This was indeed a real, mummified body. But whose body was it? And how did it get there? It was a Columbo episode come to life.

It turned out that the "mummy" was Elmer McCurdy, a notorious train robber who was gunned down in 1911 in Oklahoma. How did he get to Long Beach? It turned out that his famed crimes inspired another one- an enterprising carnival operator claimed to be a relative and stole the body, exhibiting it around the country. His fame soon faded and somehow the body was mistaken for a fake mummy and sold to the Pike, where it was discovered by the television crew. After the gruesome discovery, the body was returned to Oklahoma and properly laid to rest.

TGI-Strange: "Aliens in the Family"

In 1996, ABC decided to air a sitcom that sounds like a Saturday Night Live sketch come to life- Aliens in the Family. The show depicted a single earth dad who meets a single alien mom and they fall in love, combining their families.

Even the logo looks like it was made by SNL.

Uh, not the mama?

The show was an instant disaster, lasting just two weeks. ABC pulled the show from its schedule, burning off the remaining episodes during the summer. While none of its stars were seen again, the show did have a guest star who would gain fame several years later.

The picture James Van Der Beek doesn't want you to see!

In Search Of... Amelia Earhart

Leonard Nimoy tracked down many mysteries in the 1970's on his famed thirty minute syndicated show In Search Of...

One of the biggest mysteries his show covered was the disappearance of Amelia Earhart. The disappearance had gotten more press attention at the time due to a book called Amelia Earhart Lives, written by Joe Klaas. Mr. Klaas was convinced by a retired general that Amelia Earhart had survived her crash, becoming a prisoner of the Japanese. Eager to get her back quietly (and to cover up her spy mission) the United States allegedly smuggled her back into the country disguised as a nun and she assumed the identity of Irene Craigmile Bolam, a woman she was familiar with. The book was a sensation, but Irene Craigmile Bolam was still alive and was extremely upset that she was being accused of hiding her real identity.

Rather than let the story blow over, Ms. Bolam filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit that resulted in the book being pulled from circulation. Copies of the book became hard to find and In Search Of... took advantage of the renewed interest to cover the controversy. It was just one of the theories examined in the half hour episode, but it is the most memorable one. The book has recently resurfaced along with a new write up recounting this theory. 

For the record, the episode of In Search Of... comes to the conclusion that Ms. Bolam most likely wasn't Amelia Earhart. Her family steadfastly refuses any and all attempts to disprove this theory once and for all. This theory, though, is not widely believed to be true.

Bizarre TV Tie-Ins: "The Love Boat"

One of the biggest hits of the 1970's was the adult themed dramedy The Love Boat, which followed a cruise ship crew as they navigated the seas. The show featured an all-star guest cast every week who typically had romance related issues that they hoped would be resolved after a relaxing cruise.

The Love Boat, brought to you by Poligrip.

The guest stars were typically of "hasbeen" quality- actors and actresses whose careers had seen better days. The tepid romantic storylines and ancient guest starring casts, coupled with a Saturday night time time slot was a perfect storm for attracting elderly audiences, shut-ins and dateless wonders. If one were wondering what sort of merchandise the show's audience might enjoy, things like Depends, Poligrip, International Coffees or dating services would probably come to mind. Certainly they wouldn't think a toy line would succeed, right?

Yeah, WTF, Right?

Mego Toys, the long defunct toy manufacturer, was always looking for movie and TV properties that it could turn into toy lines. With the more obvious properties taken or too expensive for Mego, the company sought more unusual franchises to mine. Enter its Love Boat line of toys.

Possibly assuming that a portion of The Love Boat's audience were children watching with their grandparents or that grandma might choose gifts for her granddaughters based on her own viewing habits, the company threw caution to the winds and released the line of toys. Taking a closer look at the action figure packaging, one sees that the action figures, originally priced at $2.99 were unceremoniously marked down to 3 for $2.00. The toys were a huge disaster, helping to weaken the toy company, which eventually went out of business.

TV Quote Weekends

Tonight After The Super Bowl... "The Wonder Years"

Not every television show that premieres after the Super Bowl becomes an overhyped flop. There have been some hit shows that just happened to get their start on football's biggest night.

The Wonder Years premiered after the 1988 Super Bowl and quickly gained fans. It seemed like the show was ideally suited to succeed on such a night of television. Its 1960's setting appealed to baby boomers while the universal coming of age themes appealed to their children. Unlike other shows that had previously premiered after the Super Bowl, The Wonder Years earned raves from critics and viewers alike. The show went onto a successful six season run.

Tonight After the Super Bowl: "Davis Rules"

After the Super Bowl practically became a national holiday, the television networks decided that they could cash in on the huge audience watching the game by premiering new shows afterwards. This was seen as a way to launch a new show in a big way. This practice was even parodied by The Simpsons.

The networks always hoped that the huge audience would like what they saw and turn the show into a hit. It rarely seemed to work, however. Case in point, ABC's 1991 great hope Davis Rules.

Starring a pre-insane Randy Quaid as a school principal with the last name of Davis who ruled over his school (but not his crazy family!) the show quickly lost the interest of its humongous audience and was canceled by ABC after just 13 episodes. CBS pulled it out of ABC's dumpster and the show limped along for another season before being canceled and forgotten- a victim of the Super Bowl curse.

Good Times

Rest in Peace, Joe Alaskey

Famed voice actor Joe Alaskey, who took over voicing Warner Brothers' legendary characters from Mel Blanc, has passed away at age 63 of cancer.



Mr. Alaskey appeared in front of the cameras on the 1980's sitcom Out of This World.

Addams Family

Hogan's Heroes

Sanford and Son