Happy Anniversary to The Simpsons!

On December 17, 1989 The Simpsons premiered on the three year old Fox Network, a last ditch effort to try to build on the success of the channel's only hit show- Married... With Children. Devised at the last minute by creator Matt Groening, who didn't want to cede the rights to his popular Life in Hell characters, the show would make him more money than he had dreamed of. Along the way, Our Favorite Family conquered Bill Cosby and became an established American icon. The Simpsons is a perfectly cromulent institution and we are all embiggened by its existence. Happy Anniversary, Springfield!

The Simpsons Files: Moe Szyslak

In a town full of crude, boorish, slovenly citizens, Moe Szyslak stands out as the crudest, most boorish and perverted of everyone living in Springfield.

Owner of the diviest dive bar in whichever state Springfield is in, Moe lives in an endless cycle of poverty and depression. Every time he seems on the verge of a breakthrough, something stands in his way, whether it is his own perversion or that of his sad sack customers.

Despite it all, however, Moe always finds his way, realizing that life is worth living and that not everyone is repulsed by his appearance. When push comes to shove, Moe will typically come through for his friends.

The Simpsons Files: The Crazy Cat Woman

The crazy cat woman was first introduced in the Girly Edition episode of The Simpsons. Shown throwing her "beloved" cats at Lisa, she earned an instant cult following. We eventually learn her name- Eleanor Abernathy and discover that she once was an intelligent doctor who became crazy due to her stressful job. She is subject to periods of lucidity when she takes her medication, though she prefers not to do so. She is also apparently a distant cousin of Otto the bus driver.

Moe's Polygraph

Good, 'cause I've got a hot date tonight! BUZZ!

A Date! BUZZ!

 Dinner with friends. BUZZ!

Dinner alone. BUZZ!

 Watching TV alone. BUZZ!

 Alright! I'm just going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! BUZZ!

 Sears catalog. DING!

Now, would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! BUZZ!

The Simpsons Files: Gil Gunderson

Easily one of the saddest characters in Springfield (outside of Moe Syzslak) Gil Gunderson is a character who can never seem to catch a break. 

Chronically unemployed, Gil nonetheless keeps a positive attitude; he always feels like good luck is just around the corner. Modeled after Jack Lemmon's character in Glengarry Glen Ross, Gil was originally intended as a one shot character. Viewers loved him, however, and after the death of Phil Hartman, who voiced the sad sack lawyer Lionel Hutz, Springfield needed a similar character. Ol' Gil was brought in to fill the void and has become an important part of Springfield.

The Simpsons Files: Captain McCallister

The crazy sea captain who is often seen engaging in failed businesses on The Simpsons is named Captain McCallister.

His longest lasting enterprise is his restaurant called "The Rusty Barnacle", a business that is first shown when Homer sues it for cutting him off before he truly had all he could eat. The captain is also shown operating a business that rents out shoddy rafts. When Homer's rented raft sinks just moments after hitting the water, the Captain sadly admits that he doesn't know what he's doing. His restaurant is later depicted as being filthy and ridden with cockroaches, surprising everyone (including the captain himself) that it stays in business.