TV Quote Weekends

"If my mother keeps shrinking, this is exactly what she's gonna look like in ten years!"

TV Quote Weekends

"So *they're* the degenerates?"

The Famous Mister Ed

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can talk to a horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.

Go right to the source and ask the horse

He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.

He's always on a steady course.

Talk to Mister Ed.

People yakkity-yak a streak and waste your time of day

But Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.

You never heard of a talking horse?

Well listen to this: 

"I am Mister Ed". 

Mrs. Columbo

One of the greatest television detectives ever was Frank Columbo. Played by Peter Falk, the rumpled detective seemed to be in over his head, but he always arrested the right perpetrator in the end. It was a no-brainer to try to take advantage of his popularity with a spin-off show. NBC decided to greenlight a drama based on Columbo's oft-mentioned but never seen wife- Mrs. Columbo.

Starring Kate Mulgrew as Kate Columbo (Columbo actually referred to her as "Rose Columbo" on his show, a discrepancy that is never explained) the show never features Mr. Columbo.

That could explain why the show wasn't as successful as had been hoped. NBC tried everything to make the show successful, it even tried using three different show titles:

The aforementioned Mrs. Columbo:

Then, after a divorce from Mr. Columbo, it was Kate Loves a Mystery:

And lastly, Kate the Detective:

Amazingly, the show lasted less than a full season, going through all of these name changes in just 16 episodes.

From the Silver Screen to Your TV Screen

The television networks have always sought shortcuts to ratings success. Once they had convinced the movie studios that they could coexist, the networks began mining the movies for new television shows. One of the biggest television successes of all time- M*A*S*H- was borrowed from the big screen.

Unfortunately, that was a big exception. Most film to television transitions never quite work out. Like Gung Ho. Based on the film starring Michael Keaton and Gedde Watanabe, it starred Scott Bakula and Gedde Watanabe (who played a different character.) A relic of an era in which Americans feared the purported business prowess of Japan, it only lasted for 9 episodes on ABC.

NBC tried its luck with a television version of Melanie Griffith's Working Girl. Starring a young Sandra Bullock, the show lasted just 12 episodes. 

The Fox Network found success with the Ferris Bueller-esque Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Certainly a real spinoff called Ferris Bueller starring Charlie Schlatter and a pre-fame Jennifer Aniston would be even more successful, right? NBC thought so. Unfortunately, the show lasted just 13 episodes.

Maybe a dramatic adaptation might work better? ABC picked up a one hour adaptation of Michelle Pfeiffer's "Great White Hope" drama Dangerous Minds, only Annie Potts was the teacher who got to stare down rough ethnics. The show ended after just 17 episodes.

Saturday Nights on ABC

Long before Saturday nights became a wasteland of reruns, it was a wasteland of C-List celebrities!

Both ABC's Love Boat and Fantasy Island pulled together well-known C-List faces just to throw them in ridiculous situations.

Interestingly, the descriptions found in TV Guide's advertising were typically so vague as to make it difficult to determine which episode they were tied to. 

The cancellation of Love Boat was a blow to every Hollywood has been; as crazy as the show tended to be, it was still classier than having to do a panel game show.

Happy U.S. Memorial Day!

TV Quote Weekends

"Yeah, they need a laughingstock."

TV Quote Weekends

"Well, Miss, I was in this store when two thugs entered and threatened the owner with shotguns. At that time, I drew my Magnum and killed them both. Then I bought some eggs, and some milk, and some of those little cocktail weanies."

Law & Order: UK

The crime drama Law & Order is ubiquitous on American cable networks. With hundreds and hundreds of episodes on six separate shows, any channel can air the various iterations for months without showing the same episode twice. Despite this deep catalog to draw from, the people in the U.K. sought their own version and Universal Studios decided to give them one.

In 2009, Law & Order: UK hit British television. Based on the American version and featuring scripts adapted from the original show, it became an instant hit. British audiences embraced the show, which starred one person familiar to American audiences- Jamie Bamber, who starred in the reboot of Battlestar Galactica and guested on NCIS.

The show has filmed over 50 episodes; a huge run for British television. It is apparently taking an interval but is expected to eventually return to active production.

Meet George Jetson....

The Jetsons is seen as a classic show these days that lasted 75 episodes. However, it actually got canceled after just one season on ABC in the early 1960's. It lived, mostly forgotten, until the early 1980's when it was syndicated to local stations. It quickly became a popular show that attracted attention from Hanna Barbera, who put the show back into production twenty years after the show originally left the air, an amazing feat.

NOT Left Hanging: Sledgehammer!

Sledgehammer! was a bizarre show ahead of its time. One part Naked Gun, one part wacky procedural, it was a show that forced one to pay attention. As a result, regular viewers were few and its future was uncertain. Producers chose to go out with a bang- a big one!

In what they believed to be the show's final episode, the detectives uncover a scheme to detonate a nuclear bomb in the middle of the city. Would Sledge disarm the bomb just in time?!?

Nope. Despite his best efforts, the bomb goes off, destroying the city. Despite the suggestion on the closing title card, the producers fully expected the show to get canceled.

But strangely enough, ABC chose to renew the show. How would they write themselves out of this corner? Make it all a dream? Maybe say that the bomb didn't explode? Ignore it? Instead, they just chose to go back five years in the past-

Since we are told in the pilot that Dori Doreau and Sledge were not previously partners, this twist makes little sense. That was just what the producers intended- a ridiculous way to get out of a ridiculous situation. Sadly, the show would get canceled for real after season two.

Bizarre TV Guide Ads: The Nazis Train a Giant Ape!

We're sure that this episode of Wonder Woman must have made perfect sense in context. It's probably a good guess that Wonder Woman does stop the crazy Nazi gorilla. Probably.