Friday, November 13, 2015

Life Day! A Cavalcade of Bad Choices

So with George Lucas excusing himself from the project, CBS had to assemble a team to produce their Star Wars special. Demonstrating their complete cluelessness as to what this "star film" was about and why it was successful, they hired a crew who were experienced at producing variety shows, including a young Bruce Vilanch. This crew would prove to not be up to the challenge.

"Even I can't believe they hired me!"

Deciding that the cast of the film were not enough, a cast of variety show regulars were brought in. Since somehow it was determined that songs would be needed in a special spawned from a film that had no singing whatsoever, musical pros such as Beatrice Arthur and Diahann Carroll were brought in.

"I think I need to call my manager, but Bruce claims my manager said for me to shut up."

"My character is performing a strip tease for a perverted wookiee? Is this some kind of joke?"

Harvey Korman was brought in to bring humor to the proceedings. Sadly, there wasn't much humor to be had in the special's lifeless script.

"I'll get you for this, Vilanch!"

To make matters worse, Mark Hamill had been in a bad car crash and was hastily put back together and heavily made up to cover his injuries because the show had to go on. He was nearly unrecognizable and reportedly miserable and in pain for most of the filming.

Halloween at Amanda Bearse's House.

George Lucas would later regret not putting any effort or time into this project, but with CBS technically running the show even if he chose to produce it, he probably couldn't have saved things. CBS quite possibly might have driven him insane.