Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Upfronts Week: Parade Magazine's Inside Look

The so-called 'Big Three' networks will be choosing which television shows get 'renewed' for next season. Which of your favorites are facing a future as uncertain as Charo's crazy accent? Find out here!


Matlock: This exciting mystery show is a hit with our readers, but seeing as how it has been off the air for almost twenty years and its star Andy Griffith is dead, things don't look good for its return.


Mary Tyler Moore: This show's controversial premise- a young lady living unescorted in a big city- might have caught up with it. Miss Moore's brazen hussy might get the boot.


Murder, She Wrote: Unbelievably, the greatest show in the history of television may get 'canceled' because it's core audience is not seen as being 'with it.' So get to the nearest 'super-market' and support the show's advertisers by buying their products, like Maypo, Berdahl Oil Fixative and AYDS Diet Candy.


Lawrence Welk Show: Luckily this wholesome staple of television will return, only now it will appear on the so-called 'National Educational Television.' Enjoy this delightful cavalcade of music and fun where the young ladies don't dress like common trollops.